Invade Greenland

A few centuries ago the Vikings sailed west and “discovered” Iceland, a green land with geysers.  Then they took off and landed on a place they called Greenland; a much larger island covered with ice.  Go figure.  Now President Trump wants to buy it.  Denmark, home to the happiest people on the planet, and holder of the deed, says it’s not for sale.  The 58,000 semi-autonomous people who actually live on the place are telling Trump to get lost as well.

What’s the attraction? Well, for starters, climate change, which is a hoax, is causing the ice to melt at record rates.  If it all melts the oceans would rise and bye, bye Florida, New York City, and a lot of other places that contain luxury hotels and golf courses.  Maybe Trump thinks Greenland will be the next Riviera, and a great investment for development.  After all, he’s seen the beaches of North Korea and thinks that would be a great spot for hotels and golf courses as well, if his buddy Kim ever loosens up and agrees to the art of the deal.  After all, he is a stable genius who has an eye for a spot of potential development. A bonus with Greenland is apparently there is vast mineral wealth under all that ice as well.

So, what to do if the owner won’t sell?  Let’s look back at our history and consider Manifest Destiney.  We stole California from Mexico.  We declared war on Spain and invaded the Philippines. In that fine tradition we must now declare war on Denmark, disregard the fact that they are a NATO ally, and invade Greenland.  Who is going to stop us?  The puny Danes?  I think not.

The Constitution gives the power to declare war to Congress.  Presidents have ignored this and sent troops to foreign lands under the guise of “police action”.  And Greenland needs police and needs to be liberated from the clutches of Denmark. They will greet us as liberators. They will be grateful for employment in hotels, golf courses and mines.

It’s not clear where Trump thought he’d get the money to buy Greenland even if it was for sale. Borrow money from China and add to our trillion-dollar debt?  Sell Greenland bonds?  Not very practical.  Best to use the greatest military in the world who, after all, need something to do and are already paid for, and just grab it.

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