Donald Trump is turning into a warthog. How is this happening? You ask. Hillary Clinton has conspired with the Democratic National Committee to taint his Kentucky Fried Chicken with warthog conversion juice. We know this to be true because he started to grow tusks and a tail. He recently went to Walter Reed hospital ostensibly for an unscheduled check-up, but really it was to receive injections of anti-warthog serum. Rudy Giuliani has gone on Fox News to show Hillary’s emails proving the conspiracy that he has captured on his phone. Nancy Pelosi, who hates warthogs, but not the President, is praying for him.
In the meantime, House Democrats are drafting articles of impeachment against Trump. However, they are secretly consulting with esteemed law professors to answer the question: We know we can impeach a president, but can we impeach a warthog? Professors are searching for precedents, but it’s likely none exist. We are truly in uncharted waters.
Of course, all of the above is nonsense. A researcher who has studied the psychology of conspiracy theories has found that made up stuff gets passed along through social media and alternative news outlets repeatedly. Seems like even if the person passing it along doesn’t believe it to be true, it gets passed along and goes viral anyway. We want to believe what we want to believe, particularly if our minds are bent toward wanting to believe in conspiracies in the first place. Besides, passing along outrageous theories is fun.
Which leads us back to the assertion of this piece: that Donald Trump is turning into a warthog, and it is a conspiracy promulgated by Clinton and the donkeys. Of course, Trump is not turning into a warthog, and there is no warthog conspiracy. An impeached one-term president? An aardvark? Maybe.